andymatuschak.org: Journal

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Pros and Cons

When high school seniors try to decide where they’re going for college, they often make lists of pros and cons for each prospective school. By balancing these lists, they can in theory determine a quantitative winner.

I never made any kind of pro/con list to decide I wanted to come to Caltech, but lately I’ve been thinking about each side quite a lot.

The Pros

The thing about Caltech is that while it advertises its superior academia and serious research opportunities and so on, I very much doubt that we’re actually better than MIT, Harvard, or Berkeley in those departments.

The reason I came to Caltech is the people: the students here are absolutely brilliant, intensely driven, and they’re insanely good at what they do. No one was accepted because we needed more of a minority: there are maybe three Latino students here, despite the exterior demographics of Southern California. No one was accepted because we needed a great basketball player: we just won our first game in eleven years. And unlike our colleagues to the East, no one was accepted because we need more girls. Even though the ratio is nearly 3:1 male to female.

The real reason I came to Caltech is that everyone here deserves to be here. It’s really exciting.

The Cons

These same brilliant, excited people quickly evidence what’s so wrong with Caltech.

By the end of the first year, nearly everyone is bitter. Really bitter. This is so universal among students that in Blacker, there’s a ceremony in which the one or two people every year who manage to escape their sad fate are honored with the title of “perma-frosh” for the rest of their stay. It’s so striking that when I visit another school, I’m always shocked by how relaxed and happy people are.

Of course, the same reason this place is so great is the reason it’s made everyone so bitter: the same absolutely insane level of difficulty that drew all those students here in the first place.

To give some illustration, most students have about 5-7 hours of homework a night, and classes from 10 am to 4 pm, perhaps with some gaps in between classes. Dinner’s 6-7 pm. And think about it: to get up for class at 10 am and get a good night’s sleep, a bedtime around 1 am is a must. So with 6-8 hours of homework a night, what does that leave? Nearly nothing. An hour or two a day, tops. With even one extracurricular, forget about any extra time at all.

When things get really bad, my days go like this: wake up, go to class, work, dinner, work, collapse. Straight from class to work to sleep, day after day after day. My life went on like this for about a week and a half for me recently, and though I had until then remained steadfast against bitterness, those around me could distinctly see my spirit breaking.

What are a student’s options? Well, he can stay up later to relax some and miss class, but then he just gets behind, and homework takes even longer. He can take a lighter workload, but doing even the minimum to graduate in four years is obscenely heavy—and this “heavy” is heavy for Caltech students, who are essentially all at least in the top 0.1% of their peers.

A huge portion of graduates are so burnt out and tired of science that by the time they leave, they feel like they never want to put on a lab coat again.

The Core

What makes things worse is also what makes things better: the Caltech core. If you haven’t heard about it, our core curriculum—for every student—consists of:

  • Five terms of math: analytical and multivariable calculus, linear algebra, differential equations, and statistics.
  • Five terms of physics: mechanics, special relativity, electricity, magnetism, waves, quantum mechanics, and thermodynamics.
  • Three terms of chemistry: basic inorganic and organic chemistry, physical chemistry, and thermochemistry, and a basic inorganic chemistry lab.
  • A term of biology: a survey, currently physical biology focused on virology.
  • A menu class: an introduction to geology, astronomy, or information theory.
  • Another lab: solid state electronics, physical mechanics, or organic chemistry.

The first two points are especially insane: the curriculum we cover for every student is equivalent to an entire 4-year program of both physics and math at a huge number of universities.

This is lovely because everyone here has a thorough and broad understanding of many scientific fields. I can talk to any of my classmates about quantum computing, and we all know much of the theoretical background necessary to understand what’s going on. If I’m talking about some obscure machine learning algorithm, even non-computer scientists understand the statistical and probabilistic material well enough to follow.

Despite all its benefits, the core is a huge part of what makes people here so bitter. Take me, for example: I’m a sophomore, and I’m currently taking my first actual CS class. And I’m only taking one this term. For most majors, the real course-load doesn’t start until well into sophomore year.

And it’s not as if these courses are easy just because they’re general, introductory courses: I was two points away from failing Math 1a, and I consistently spent twelve hours a week on my Physics 1c sets.

This is really frustrating. Here’s a real conversation I had with a non-Techer friend:

Him: “Hey, why’s it been so long since you updated Sparkle?”
Me: “I’m really busy with schoolwork.”
Him: “But so many people use it and are waiting for you!”
Me: “I know, but I’ve really got to get this Bio set done.”
Him: “Bio set? What?”
Me: “Yeah, it’s on how HIV fuses with the cell membrane and injects its contents.”
Him: “What? Why are you taking that?”
Me: “I have to. Everyone has to take it.”
Him: “But you’re a computer scientist! It’s not the least bit useful!”
Me: “Believe me, I know.

It’s often hard to justify going through all this when if I just wrote some software, I’d be making money instead of paying. Especially when having a successful product is better for employment opportunities than a degree, even from Caltech.

Maybe I’m just impatient. The material is slowly getting more applicable to me. I’m taking a course in discrete mathematics that’ll be useful for Sparkle, and the machine learning is very neat. Core courses will eventually go away.

But not before they’ve taken their toll on my spirits, like they have on everyone else here.

The really sad conflict that comes out of all this is that the workload makes everyone here bittermdash;but that all these wonderful people wouldn’t be here in the first place if it weren’t so insane.

Tasty Froshies!

Aw, the widdle fwoshies.For the last week, I’ve been going through the very lengthy process of Rotation here at Caltech, which is sort of like fraternities’ rush week at another school. Here at Caltech, social life revolves around one’s House, which acts as a family and huge source of social activity for students. Each House has very distinct personalities and ideas of what’s fun (mine stereotypically enjoys fire, explosions, geekery, and adventure), so for a week at beginning of term, new frosh spend a day at each house, eating dinner and getting to know its members.What I didn’t understand until this year was how things work from the Houses’ side. It’s a huge ordeal trying to meet and remember every one of the frosh!It’s all over now, though, so Blacker has new frosh! It’s very exciting; most fit right in with the Hovse, and I’m sure the rest will change over time—I know I did.It’s important that I spend a lot of time around the Hovse to meet the new frosh and help welcome them into the culture of Blacker, but that’s tough, because as a sophomore, I’m forced to live off-campus this year. My apartment is huge, but it’s about three quarters of a mile away, so it’s tough, especially since I’m not on the Caltech board program. I’ve ended up coming to Hovse dinner (which is about an hour long), as it’s a good chance to connect with everyone and keep up with what’s going on, but since I can’t eat at it, I have to head back to my apartment afterwards to cook for myself, adding on another hour or so. Long nights!Other excitement comes from Fluid Dynamics, the a cappella group I sing with. We managed to impress a whole lot of people at frosh camp, so we had about twice as many people audition this year as last. There was a great deal of fantastic talent, and we picked up six new singers—five of them female—that we’re really excited about. We only had two women in the group before, so with this new crop, we’re near-even with eight guys and seven girls. Even though the new members haven’t really had a chance to learn yet, our sound is already so much richer from the improved balance.Now that rotation and auditions for Fluid Dynamics are over, the workload has ramped up to fill the rest of the time. I’d like to write a number of articles I’ve been saving up as soon as Leopard comes out and I’m no longer NDA’d, but we’ll see how my time ends up working out. Making things worse, I’ve been asked to keep working on my summer research project (which I’ll write about sometime once I’m not NDA’d on that as well) throughout the year. This is nice because it pays pretty well and is an exciting project; it’s unfortunate because it means even less time for Sparkle and my other Mac-ish projects.We’ll see.

A New Year

My summer vacation is basically over. Uh-oh. I’d better write something on here before I get sucked back into nothingness.

I’ve returned to Caltech and moved into my new apartment (which is huge and fantastic). Since my arrival, though, I’ve been very busy practicing with my a cappella group, Fluid Dynamics.

Yesterday, we went to the freshmen orientation camp and performed for the entire incoming class. You might say we were under just a bit of pressure to impress. Fortunately, the show went fantastically well—I think we made a lot of new fans.

I’m still hoping to get a substantial part of Sparkle 2 done before classes start on Monday, but with all the people arriving, I’m finding increasingly difficult to concentrate. Software update is not exactly exciting.

Prefrosh have arrived. They are tasty.

One Year Down!

You know, I pretty much dropped off the face of the planet in September. I was doing all this great Cocoa development stuff, writing all these articles, getting my name out in the bloggoblag, and so on.

And then Caltech attacked.

I actually did escape my first year at Caltech happy and bitterness-free (this is rare!), but these last few weeks of summer are the only free time I’m going to have for a very long time, so I’m feeling vaguely like a man trying desperately to complete a huge list of tasks before an appointed execution date.

It’s not all stress, though! I spent last week lying on the beach of a gorgeous, peaceful island. The only photos I have are old, as my camera decided to self-destruct on arrival, but you can click the first to see a few more.

Over the Dunes

Caltech has the highest density of bitter, cynical people I’ve ever seen, but I’ve got a lot going on to keep me relaxed. Between trips to the gorgeous beaches of California, I joined Caltech’s a cappella group to get my music fix. I became a member of Blacker Hovse, one of Caltech’s frat-like dormitories. A lot of interesting things seem to always be happening in Blacker. And, most contributing to my sanity, I have an absolutely amazing girlfriend.

So that’s pretty much what’s going on with me. I’ve acquired quite a lot of great stories from a year at Caltech—if I find time, maybe I’ll share a few.

Welcome!

Alright. Okay. I’m going to try this blog thing again. I’m serious this time, guys. My eyes are gleaming and everything.

If you’re new here, check out the sidebar for a little info on what I’m all about.

With a new site comes a new format. andymatuschak.org is now composed of three sub-blogs:

There are RSS feeds for each—subscribe to only the content you want to read. I felt bad before pushing news about my schooling to all you Cocoa hackers. When you open your RSS reader, I know that’s serious business, and I want your feeds to distract you from your work in the least distracting way possible.

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